I agonized over this blog much more than anyone in the psychological profession would probably consider healthy. Deciding on the url was the most difficult part because as far as I know, that's permanent. I can't go back and change it if I have some sort of epiphany in the shower (where all great epiphanies take place, of course) or if the absolutely-perfect-blog-url-genie materializes out of the ether and endows me with the knowledge of the absolutely-perfect-blog-url. Then what would I do? Having already formed some sort of attachment to this one I'd be forced to choose, and as may have become clear, I am not so good when it comes to decisions.
Just so you know, I agonized about the blog title too, and that could be changed every hour on the hour if I so chose (and had the time and ability to run like clockwork). There's also a character limit for the title. That's just asking for trouble. Or, at the very least, asking for me to make aggravated noises at 2 in the morning when I think I've finally landed on a blog title that adequately warns anyone who might stumble upon this.
I am a creature of many things. Habit, yes, but indecision even more. The fact that I am indecisive is probably the one thing upon which I can always decide. But does that make me more or less indecisive?
Anyway, moving on....
I guess I should ask why I decided that the name and url are such a big deal. To justify my insanity at least a little bit, titles are known to catch the eye. Were I perusing a list of blogs, I'm pretty sure I'd stop and pay a bit more attention to the blogs with interesting names. That being said, am I ready for the random blog list peruser (apparently 'peruser' is not a word, but then what do I call one who peruses? This is quite the dilemma. I think I'll just have to use a word that does not exist according to online dictionaries and they can just deal. It's my blog after all. Shakespeare made up words all the time. I'm not saying I'll be the next Shakespeare or anything, but with the evolution of language, you have to start somewhere, so why not a random blog written under the influence of an assignment and, let's face it, a somewhat compulsive need to feel clever or witty or something?)to find this? What would they think of it? Would they bother reading past the first few sentences? Would they come back to see what else I had to say? I don't really want to think about it. I'm not sure I can deal with the hypothetical rejection.
And, of course, I write all of this perfectly aware that tomorrow it will probably change drastically. By the time enough people have had time to find it and turn me into the laughingstock of the blog-o-sphere, this will say something different. Or will it? The words will probably be different, but will a change in words change the perception of me that someone reading this will get? Now I'm getting all philosophical and whatnot. It happens on occasion. Best to just nod and smile and hope I move on quickly.
It's been a weird and dreary day and I have more to do than time in which to do it, so maybe after a night's sleep (not a decent one, mind you, but one nonetheless) my head will be clearer and this will be less of a rambling mess. Or it could just be a reorganized rambling mess. I suppose it could really go either way.
Let's face it, it's even less organized and more rambling. But maybe that's me. I'm kind of a mess. My room, my thoughts, everything about me really. Why should my blog make any more sense than the rest of my existence?
I find myself getting really sick of listening to myself say the word "blog" in my head. Perhaps that is my sign to give it a rest and come back to this later. Maybe I'll even start a new post instead of just editing this one. Wouldn't that be a novel idea? Should I stop asking questions to which I probably won't get answers? Why is the sky blue? How much does Canada weigh?
OK. It really is time to stop.
15 hours ago