My library conundrum

So I’m currently using my public library card as a bookmark. I have a few bookmarks that move from book to book, but during breaks when I start reading every book I can get my hands on all at the same time, any flat-ish object is fair game. In any case, considering my current situation with the public library, I find this library card’s ubiquity somewhat amusing.

Allow me to explain: I’m afraid to go back there. Seriously. It’s not a joke.

You see, way back in the day, I was a library fiend. I almost always had some book from the library. Unfortunately, as a young child without the ability to get myself to and from the library, I accrued many a late fee. At some point it got out of control and I stopped going because I owed them so much money. In my mind, I owe the library like $70. In reality, my childhood idea of ‘so much money’ is probably not the same as ‘so much money’ to present day me. I should really just suck it up and go back.

And you know, I took the first step. I found my library card and went online to try to access my account and see how much I really did owe them, but my PIN didn’t work, so I had to call them. And guess what I learned...
The library discards records after 3 years of inactivity. I haven’t used my library card in probably around 7 years.

As far as the library records are concerned, I don’t exist. Those millions of dollars I owe them? They’re forgotten.

…Maybe.

I still have this irrational fear that I’m going to walk in, try to get a new library card and masked library ninjas of doom will pop out of the woodwork and do something horrible to me. You know, like make me pay fines. I’m an unemployed (and seemingly unemployable, but that, dear readers, is another [bitchier, whinier] post) college student, damn it! I don’t have money to pay for my middle school transgressions!

And so my library card is my bookmark. A nagging reminder that I should just suck it up and go, and if I have to pay a fine, so be it because it’s cheaper than actually buying all my books, right?

Ugh. My insanity is exhausting. I need a nap.